The images of billionaires standing behind Trump at inauguration and Elon Musk carrying around a chainsaw to represent his work shredding social safety nets has made it hard to ignore reality. These evil men use the profits from our hard-earned dollars to buy themselves a compliant government and vacuum up even more of our dollars.

Calls to boycott the Amazons, Walmarts, and Targets of the world feel more intense and widespread than before, with Target facing stark declines in foot traffic. More folks are getting practical about how to actually divest further from these systems.

I’m not writing this from any kind of high horse—but as someone with a history of impulse and compulsive buying. My novel manuscript, sitting in my drawer right now, is partially about compulsive spending.

That’s another essay, but my hope is tips that helped someone as neurotic as me could help anyone spend less.

We are all conditioned to solve our problems by purchasing products. We look to daddy capitalism to fix things, picking up our phones and calling him for help (i.e. searching the internet for something to buy).

Making do and doing without is not about living monastically but about growing the confidence and dignity to solve our own problems.

To solve a problem without buying a thing is a cheap thrill. Wrapping a gift in scrap fabric instead of buying wrapping paper from Target, or deciding no one at the wedding will care if they notice I wore this dress already, feels like a tiny defeat in a system that would prefer I consume for the enrichment of evil people.

When I created a habit of making do, I also grew much more confidence in my purchasing decisions. I have awareness of what areas of my life are easy to solve on my own and what areas have actual pain points worth solving through a product.

Some products are awesome value-adds for certain people. I’m not here to tell anyone they don’t need a dedicated avocado slicer if it brings needed ease to their life, but to suggest learning about ourselves so we can understand what makes a legitimate difference.

A lot of messaging tries to convince us that we will miss out on something if we don’t buy it right now. But, beauty, innovation, and desire are resilient. Whatever it is you want, be it an album of music or a lamp or a a car or a mug, there will always be another one you want down the line.

When I want to buy something, I add it to a list. I can look at the list after I get paid and decide if I want to buy anything. Usually, when I’m looking at this list in a neutral state of mind, I realize it was just an impulse. If I do want to buy, patience means I can do my best to purchase it from an ethical company.

I’ve seen lots of tips about unfollowing influencers and retail shops. Those are good ideas, but we are so saturated with advertising we need something stronger and more unhinged to combat it: the conviction that everything is a scam.

One some level, it is. If we don’t really need it (see tip one), then it fooled us into parting with our money.

When I see ads, or honestly online content in general, my brain goes scam, scam, scam. I’m sometimes proven wrong, but I’d rather start with skepticism.

Creativity is the antidote to consumption. I started sewing garments out of frustration—I’m taller and curvier than average, and I was tired of shopping for ill-fitting things. In the past few years, I busted out my sewing machine and started watching YouTube videos on garment construction.

I soon learned I can spend the same amount of time sewing an item that I used to spend on shopping, and it’s way more fun and satisfying.

Choosing making over shopping shifted my time away from shopping and towards everyday creativity. The mundane creativity of cooking and sewing and crafting is much more satisfying than shopping. My life feels richer when I fill it with mundane creativity alongside my more ambitious creative projects. Sometimes, they feed each other.

Of course, it’s easy to overbuy beautiful fabrics and craft supplies, but the simple rule of not buying materials without a project in mind makes a big difference.

Some categories are easier to find locally than others. Clothes, for example, are infinite and everywhere. Even when I lived in the middle of nowhere in Indiana, we had a farmer’s market, an independent bookstore, and a local plant nursery.

Electronics are much harder. And I’m sorry to say it, but I want commercial skincare and not the herb salves being sold at the boutique alongside incense and crystals (but yes, I do kinda want the crystals).

Luckily, online, there are a million alternatives to Amazon. Plus, the stores that survived the rise of Amazon learned to compete with free or cheap shipping.

Guilt (for me, it’s Catholic) at not being perfect helps absolutely no one. Shame wastes time and makes people feel helpless.

Working to rely less on shame as a driver of my choices is the only way I’ve been able to make room for more positive, less exhausting forces of motivation.

I’m sure shame will plague me until I die, but tamping it down has allowed me to develop new drivers, like confidence in my values, trust in myself, and purposeful intention in the choices that I make.

Confidence in the life I want makes the choice not to buy peaceful and fulfilling. Letting go of shame means when I do buy something I should not have, it doesn’t erase good choices.

I’m not above anger as a tool. Spite is often powerful and rechargeable. Try imagining Bezos laughing at us when you’re about to check out on Amazon. If you’re anything like me, you’ll feel disgust in the pit of your stomach and go find somewhere else to purchase it or realize you don’t need it after all.

Right now, social media is overwhelmingly full of information on how to take action, join the resistance, etc. There are a lot of great ideas and beautiful hard work behind the scenes. Everyone needs to contribute.

But we can’t compare our contributions to others. We need to trust if we all do what we can, it will all add up. If we start somewhere, we will grow.

Remember motivation may ebb and flow, and it’s okay. The point of building new habits slowly is they will stick even when you don’t care much in the moment.

Daddy capitalism doesn’t have to control us any longer. What helps you to shop less?